Except that I was in a constant state of anxiety. I resented everything, and everyone, especially myself. 

I was a MISERABLE human to be around.

You think I’m joking, but ask the people closest to me and their eyes will glaze over, their heart will speed up, the knot will quickly return to the pit of their stomach, and they will say “yep, Marcella was a nightmare.”  

Now I laugh and take pride in how far I’ve come, but really, it was bad.

On paper, I had everything to be grateful for. I had a great education, the masters degrees, the hot boyfriend, cool friends, a beautiful flat in London. I was on my way to a clinical doctorate. Yes, everything looked perfect.  

When I look at my life now, I truly can’t believe I am the same person. 

The irony of it all? My fancy degrees in psychology didn’t really help when it came to my own life. In fact, I was seeing a psychoanalyst four times a week when I was at my worst. I was told that by becoming one, I would be helping people feel better. But somehow I walked away from every session feeling disempowered, frustrated and misunderstood.

I just wanted someone to relate to me, but it seemed like I was the only person in the world who “had it all” and felt totally empty. Here I was, with this gorgeous life, and yet I was constantly anxious, overweight, moody, and jealous of everyone around me for somehow having the personal success that I was sure was meant for me. 

I was desperate for a life I loved. I kept wondering quietly to myself in the middle of the night, “what am I doing wrong here? Is this really how I am going to feel for the rest of my life?” 

The morning everything changed was actually a pretty standard morning for me. It started with a stupid disagreement I initiated with my boyfriend, over something insignificant that really didn’t matter. As per usual, it spiraled into a day of mindless arguing, and I ended up on my analyst's couch complaining, prepared to feel bad for myself. 

Same shit, different day. 

But something changed in me that day. For the first time, I didn’t want to hear her confirm that I was the victim. I didn’t want sympathy. I was done. I wanted to be told how to stop screwing my relationships up. I wanted to be told that there was something I could do to fix the parts of me that I hated. That my life wasn't going to feel like this forever.

In summary: it looked like any other day, but in fact, it was my rock bottom. I had to get my life together, and this analyst was just not going to help me do it. I quit then and there. Desperate for support, I started asking around for other therapists, wishing someone would just come save me. Coincidentally, my roommate happened to be seeing a life coach, and suggested I meet with her.

Naturally, I was like “um, what the hell is a ‘life coach’?  Here I am, working my butt off to get another masters degree and there are people walking around calling themselves life coaches?” But honestly, I was desperate. I had to go see what all the fuss was about, because whether I wanted to admit it or not- my roommate was actually happy. Her results were actually results I wanted. So clearly this life coach was doing something right.

By the end of my first coaching session, my world was flipped upside down. In a mere hour, I had my ass handed to me. I got a good, old fashioned, reality check. Finally, someone was not only able to say “Hey, here’s why you are getting these results in your life,” but more importantly, “here’s a plan based on what you really want. Follow the plan and you will actually like your life.” 

And now here I am: plan followed, three years, a ton of hard work, and a lot of fun later, LOVING EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF MY LIFE.

I didn’t turn my life upside down. I didn’t burn it all to the ground. Yes, I had to quit the doctorate program I wasn’t authentically excited about, stop treating my body like crap, start working out, and start telling the truth to the people around me. But I pretty much took the life I already had, and I learned how to make it MINE. Truly mine. 

I decided to stop blaming everyone else: my boyfriend (now husband), my friends, my parents. I started taking full responsibility for my own thoughts and actions and started making changes in ME

You see, no one in my life had to change - because as soon as I changed, I experienced people differently. I experienced the world differently. 

My whole life, I’ve wanted to help people. It’s why I gravitate towards social work and psychology, and ultimately why I quit my doctoral path and became a life coach instead. I love understanding why humans feel what they feel, but most importantly, I love helping people see that they have choices. I live to inspire action.

Here’s the thing: you already have all the ingredients you need within you. I just want to give you the tools you need to create something truly beautiful. You work really hard for for your life, let me help you love it.

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