When I look at my life now, I truly can’t believe I am the same person.
The irony of it all? My fancy degrees in psychology didn’t really help when it came to my own life. In fact, I was seeing a psychoanalyst four times a week when I was at my worst. I was told that by becoming one, I would be helping people feel better. But somehow I walked away from every session feeling disempowered, frustrated and misunderstood.
I just wanted someone to relate to me, but it seemed like I was the only person in the world who “had it all” and felt totally empty. Here I was, with this gorgeous life, and yet I was constantly anxious, overweight, moody, and jealous of everyone around me for somehow having the personal success that I was sure was meant for me.
I was desperate for a life I loved. I kept wondering quietly to myself in the middle of the night, “what am I doing wrong here? Is this really how I am going to feel for the rest of my life?”
The morning everything changed was actually a pretty standard morning for me. It started with a stupid disagreement I initiated with my boyfriend, over something insignificant that really didn’t matter. As per usual, it spiraled into a day of mindless arguing, and I ended up on my analyst's couch complaining, prepared to feel bad for myself.
Same shit, different day.
But something changed in me that day. For the first time, I didn’t want to hear her confirm that I was the victim. I didn’t want sympathy. I was done. I wanted to be told how to stop screwing my relationships up. I wanted to be told that there was something I could do to fix the parts of me that I hated. That my life wasn't going to feel like this forever.
In summary: it looked like any other day, but in fact, it was my rock bottom. I had to get my life together, and this analyst was just not going to help me do it. I quit then and there. Desperate for support, I started asking around for other therapists, wishing someone would just come save me. Coincidentally, my roommate happened to be seeing a life coach, and suggested I meet with her.
Naturally, I was like “um, what the hell is a ‘life coach’? Here I am, working my butt off to get another masters degree and there are people walking around calling themselves life coaches?” But honestly, I was desperate. I had to go see what all the fuss was about, because whether I wanted to admit it or not- my roommate was actually happy. Her results were actually results I wanted. So clearly this life coach was doing something right.
By the end of my first coaching session, my world was flipped upside down. In a mere hour, I had my ass handed to me. I got a good, old fashioned, reality check. Finally, someone was not only able to say “Hey, here’s why you are getting these results in your life,” but more importantly, “here’s a plan based on what you really want. Follow the plan and you will actually like your life.”
And now here I am: plan followed, three years, a ton of hard work, and a lot of fun later, LOVING EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF MY LIFE.
I didn’t turn my life upside down. I didn’t burn it all to the ground. Yes, I had to quit the doctorate program I wasn’t authentically excited about, stop treating my body like crap, start working out, and start telling the truth to the people around me. But I pretty much took the life I already had, and I learned how to make it MINE. Truly mine.
I decided to stop blaming everyone else: my boyfriend (now husband), my friends, my parents. I started taking full responsibility for my own thoughts and actions and started making changes in ME.
You see, no one in my life had to change - because as soon as I changed, I experienced people differently. I experienced the world differently.
My whole life, I’ve wanted to help people. It’s why I gravitate towards social work and psychology, and ultimately why I quit my doctoral path and became a life coach instead. I love understanding why humans feel what they feel, but most importantly, I love helping people see that they have choices. I live to inspire action.
Here’s the thing: you already have all the ingredients you need within you. I just want to give you the tools you need to create something truly beautiful. You work really hard for for your life, let me help you love it.